


Forgive Me, Please.

by ProsecutingDefense



Category: Heavy Rain
Genre: (i think that's the right tag?), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Sometimes I think my only purpose in life it to write fics where Ethan's life is made even worse, alternate trial, as if a living hell wasn't pain enough, as usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-29
Updated: 2013-11-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 23:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProsecutingDefense/pseuds/ProsecutingDefense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only thing Ethan can say after unfolding the origami is “Fuck.” || Alternate version of the Shark Trial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me, Please.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't beta this so this'll either be updated and fixed or just deleted soon.  
> I'll probably just end up deleting this, idk.  
> \--  
> I did it. I wrote one of those fics where they change a trial. I did the thing and I don’t even care anymore. I’m getting like, all my inspirations from Imagine Your OTP. It’s the only way I can write anything I’m;;
> 
> oyeh  
> what led up to this / events before this;
> 
> Madison is killed during "the doc" ; and is slightly au from there in the sense that Adrian was found / arrested / the press found out - ethan found out.  
> Ethan was arrested in "fugitive" - Jayden helped him escape.  
> Ethan completed the first three trials successfully.  
> It's totally AU from the moment he opens the shark origami on.
> 
> \--  
> oyeh i also have to say  
> whoops  
> i went the hollywood way  
> i'm well aware that silencers don't make _that much_ of a difference but  
>  this is fiction shut up

Ethan is speechless - literally. He’s trying to say something, _anything_ , but while his lips will move, no sound will come out.

He’s torn between staring at the pistol in disgust, or staring at the unfolded origami figure in front of him.

He’s feeling nauseous - and he hasn’t even left the house yet. He hasn’t picked up the gun again - he certainly doesn’t want to.

 _Kill a man?_ The thought of murder is bad enough on its own. Ethan’s not a killer. And yet - if it’ll save Shaun…

No, he can’t. Especially not _him_. He can’t do it. He _won’t._  

It’s still raining outside. Wherever Shaun is, he doesn’t have a lot of time.

And meanwhile there’s Ethan, staring at the paper like an idiot, wasting his own time.

He runs his bandaged hand through his hair, taking in a deep breath. He needs to decide, _now._ He either finishes this trial and moves on to the next one, or he fails this trial - and fail to find his son.

Finally, _finally_ , he makes up his mind, slowly standing up. With a shaky breath - and an even shakier hand - Ethan reaches for the gun, checking to see that it’s still loaded - why wouldn’t it be? He hadn’t fired it (yet) - before sliding it into his pocket. _What is safety, anyway, at this point?_

He tosses the origamis into the shoebox - but not before memorizing the address on the paper - and shoves it under the bed once more.

He pulls on his coat, and doesn’t even bother to look back before shutting the door, not leaving the origami behind.

_Are you prepared to kill a man to save your son?_

 

The origami led him to a hotel. Ethan knew that was where he’d be; whether that was just a hunch or if he was just that good, he didn’t know, nor care, but he was glad the origami gave him a number.

No, not glad, not even thankful. He was bitter

He was angry and hurt and scared and Ethan was just about at breaking point.

And fuck if he’d thought the lizard trial was bad, he was just about ready to break down. Tears were already pricking at his eyes. He’d wiped them away almost immediately. He didn’t want to scare the man.

Go fucking figure that Ethan would be sent to murder the only fucking man that believed in him.

Madison was already fucking dead. As surprising as it was that the reporters were able to dig their way into her murder - Ethan was more surprised Baker was even caught.

 _God,_ did Ethan hate him with a passion. He’d murdered Madison. He’d made it so that Ethan was as good as completely alone. He’s pretty sure the only person he hates more than Baker is the fucking psychopath that took his son.

No,

Wait,

Correction.

Ethan fucking hates himself just as much as, if not more than, Baker right now.

He’d already put hundreds of people in danger during the Bear trial, he’s still not sure if there’s been any fatalities. He’s not sure he wants to know anymore.

And now, well, _now_ , he gets to kill the one man who believed in him.

These are the thoughts that are going through the architect’s mind as he walks through the hallways of the hotel.

_Room 305, found it._

He could physically feel pain in his chest, as he raised his hand to the door. He hesitated.

_I can’t do this. I can’t kill him._

_I’m lucky enough this gun came with a silencer._

Another deep breath - _what's to say he's even in here anyway? -_ and Ethan knocked on the door.

An exhausted Jayden came to the door. He was in - were those _sweatpants_? And a tee-shirt? - casual clothing. A shock from the suit he always wore. Seems as if he was just about ready to turn in for the night.

"Ethan what are you doing here-"

"We need to talk."

"Does it have to be now?" Ethan nodded, almost hesitantly.

“I don’t have much time.”

Jayden paused - almost as if he was trying to imagine the worst case scenario that had happened to Ethan.

“Come in,” Jayden said, moving aside for Ethan to enter.

Ethan, hand in his back pocket, hand on his gun, took a few shaky steps in.  

The moment Jayden turned around to close the door was the moment his hand shot up.

It was so unbelievable it took Jayden more than a few minutes to process what was going on.

 _“Ethan, what the_ fuck _are you-?”_ Jayden tried his damned hardest to keep his voice steady.

Ethan kept the gun aimed at Jayden’s forehead. Shaky as his hand was, he didn’t really have much of a choice.

He couldn’t even bring himself to explain it. Ethan slowly extended his left arm to Jayden, with the small paper shark gripped tightly in his bandaged hand.

“What-”

“Open it,” he choked out. He couldn’t - this was, this was nothing short of _insane_. _He couldn’t kill Norman._ He couldn’t kill anyone, let alone his only remaining ally.

 _“‘Are you prepared to kill a man to save your son? No- **Norman Jayden Ro-’**_ _What?”_ Jayden could feel his heart racing. And no matter how hard it was for him, he couldn’t even imagine how hard it was for Ethan.

Sure, Jayden had already killed a man; but he didn’t _have_ to shoot Nathaniel. He could’ve at least _tried_ talking him out of it.

But Ethan - Ethan wasn’t left with a choice.

“Ethan, you don’t have to do this.”

“I don’t want to. But I have no choice.”

“You can walk away. We’ll piece together my clues and whatever you’ve gotten from him already.”

“How do you know if that’s going to be enough? This - this is the only way I can save Shaun.

“Believe me - if there was any other option for me, I’d take it - I don’t want to do this.”

“Then _don’t._ You don’t have to shoot-”

Ethan was terrified.

_I can’t do this. I can’t kill Norman. I’m not a murderer._

_He_ helped _me. He got me out of the interrogation room. I can’t do this - he’s the only reason I was able to make it to this trial in the first place._

_He saved me - for what? Just so I could murder him no more than a few hours later?_

_Look, just - pull the trigger. Do it fast and it’ll all be over._

_It’s for Shaun - I’ll do just about anything if it’ll help me save my son._

Jayden still had his hands up, eyes wide with shock.

_“You’re scared.”_

“Of course I am. I’m not a murderer.”

“You will be if you shoot.”

“As if I don’t know that?

“I never wanted to murder anyone - I never wanted part of these fucking trials in the first place. But if this is the only way to save my son-”

“You’d kill me. I understand.” _Fuck, he really was going to pull the fucking trigger._ It took all of Jayden’s strength not to crack.

“I’m - I’m so, _so_ , sorry.” It was a struggle for Ethan to say the words.

And Jayden saw the struggle. This was going to kill Ethan - as if he hadn’t gone through enough. There had to be some way to lessen the magnitude of this for Ethan, even minutely.

_“I’m sorry, Norman.”_

Ethan took a deep breath. And just as he closed his eyes, he heard Jayden’s final words - **“I forgive you.”**

 _After the gunshot -_ it wasn’t as loud as he’d expected - sure, the silencer wasn’t a miracle worker, but it sure as hell didn’t make it sound so much like a fucking explosion- _the room was filled with nothing but Ethan’s heavy breaths._

Shaking - tears finally falling, try as he might to stop them - he pulled out the phone, and, with great difficulty, snapped a picture of the agent’s now lifeless body.

_Sent._

He couldn’t stand here - he was, he was sick.

Ethan barely makes it three steps into the bathroom before collapsing to his knees and vomiting until there’s nothing left.

His phone rings - _your reward is in the gun grip_.

Ethan slams the gun into the ground as hard as he can - once, twice, the third time it pops off. He inserts the card into his phone - more letters. Great.

For a moment - he was away from Jayden. He couldn’t stay here forever - he’d have to pass the corpse again, at least, when he had to leave. There was no other option.

At least - at least he was forgiven. Jayden had forgiven him, Ethan thought, as he forced himself to stand. He hit the toilet handle, moving toward the door, with terrified steps. Maybe - just maybe, because he was forgiven - maybe he’d tear himself apart just a little bit less.

_No._

Jayden may have forgiven him.

But Ethan would never - _never_ \- forgive himself for this.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Imagine Person A of your OTP being forced to brutally murder Person B. Neither of them can stop it but just before Person A starts Person B whispers “You’re forgiven” very quietly because they know that Person A will tear themselves up inside afterwards just a little bit less if they do.


End file.
